On 25 July 2016, when I read the CATs scan report and knew that I am almost 100% of having liver cancer, surprisingly I did not have any fluctuated feeling. I was pretty calm.
I told my husband and twin sister. I barely can remember how actually they reacted at first that time, just remember that there were whatsapp in and out to explain the situation at that time.
My husband was right in front of me when I analyzed the report to him. I remember he looked pretty calm.
On that night, while driving me home, he suddenly shed tears and then only I realized that actually he was kind of sad. The feeling is like he thought that I am going to die pretty soon, the end of the world. Then, I held his hand and said, "It is okay, lao gong. It would be okay." My husband replied, "It is the sand that fly into my eyes. I am not crying." Looking at me, he added on, "Lao po, lets gambateh. We can go through this." I smiled and nodded my head.
My twin sister got to know my situation through a whatsapp message from me. I told her that I am not sad and am pretty calm, feel nothing, and asked her not to be sad too as when people cry, I would then feel sad. She said okay and that she would not cry but it was later that I only knew she was crying like hell that night after she knew about the possibility of my cancer.
While, I only told my mom, brother, elder sister, family in law that there is a tumor in my liver without telling them that it might be a cancer.
On 2 August 2016, my mom, elder sister and husband were there with me when the surgeon doctor confirmed that I am having liver cancer. My twin sister joined us for lunch after the meeting with the surgeon doctor. As normal, they looked worry. My mom worried that I would worry and tried to calm me down. I told her that I am pretty okay and not sad at all. Same went to my family in law. They looked worry but never say pretty much things about it.
Both my immediate family and family in law were so kind in immediately helping to find a lot of information about cancer, ways to fight cancer, diet, etc, especially my husband. My first action after the confirmation of my liver cancer was watching my favorite cartoon - Doraemon for more than 2 weeks (other than working). My husband was in a fighting mode, kept searching for info about the alternative ways to "treat" cancer other than the conventional cancer cure (surgery, chemotheraphy and radiotherapy). My father in law immediately helped me to find the plant called Phyllanthus Urinaria (for suppressing Hepatitis B virus activity and fight liver cancer). My mother in law offered to help taking care of my son at night during sleeping time. My mom and sisters were asking around for cases like me and shared with me the story of their survival.
